Through Fire Alarms and Tears
by musicgirl1120
Summary: Though it has been six months since the escape from the Dollhouse, some days are still hard for Spencer. Luckily, Toby is there to comfort her when she needs him most.


**Someone asked if I could do something set after the dollhouse that had a lot of comfort in it. I have had this in the works for a few months, and I decided this would be a good time to publish it. Hope you enjoy.**

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One night, around two in the morning, she had called him in a mess of tears. She could barely even get her words out. As soon as he heard the tears, he had jumped out of bed and into his car.

By the time he was an hour into his drive, she was still panicking, but he had managed to to figure out that there had been a late night fire alarm that had triggered her flashbacks. The second it happened, she was back in the dollhouse.

Her roommate had all but dragged a screaming, terrified Spencer out of the dorm room as Spencer grabbed her phone and called Toby.

Ava was terrified and when Spencer could barely breath, she took the phone, talking to Toby. He explained that she was having a flashback, that she would be alright and that he was on his way. Ava had helped Spencer back to their room, sitting up with her until he got there.

The panic was just about over when he got there just over three hours after she called. Ava came downstairs to let him in, looking terrified.

"Is she going to be alright?" the worried freshman asked.

"She will be," Toby said, opening the door to their dorm room, "Hey Spence."

She had all but jumped into his arms, clinging to him for dear life.

"I called and got us a hotel," Toby said to Ava, holding Spencer tightly as she started to sob again, "I'll bring her back when she's ready. I promise she's going to be alright."

Ava nodded as Toby carefully grabbed Spencer's keys.

"Want some help?" Ava asked, watching him struggle to hold Spencer who was still miserably afraid.

"Yeah," Toby said, "Thanks. Can you throw a change of clothes into her bag?"

Ava nodded, doing that before handing it to Toby.

"She'll be ok," he said, seeing just how terrified Ava still was, "She'll explain it to you when she's ready."

Toby took Spencer to a hotel, holding her tightly as she cried. It was moments like these that he hated that she didn't have something she could take when the anxiety got this bad.

He rubbed her back in a way she had taught him right after the dollhouse. She slowly calmed down, falling asleep after about an hour of panicky tears. He, however, did not sleep at all, watching her snuggled up to his chest, looking totally miserable.

When she woke up twelve hours later, she looked confused. Then, the events of the night came flooding back as she looked at Toby.

"No," she said, horror filling her eyes, "No, tell me it was all a bad dream."

"You're fine," Toby said, pulling her into a hug as tears formed in her eyes, "It's ok."

"I can't believe I had a panic attack and flashbacks in front of my roommate," Spencer said as tears ran down her cheeks, "Over a stupid fire alarm. God, she's going to think I'm crazy."

"Spencer," he said, "She's not going to thing you're crazy. She wanted to help you last night. She was worried about you and actually texted you a few times this morning to make sure you were alright. She said she's got copies of all the notes you missed too. She doesn't think you're crazy."

Spencer nodded, rubbing her wet eyes.

"I hate this," Spencer said, rubbing her face, "Why can't I just be normal like everyone else?"

"Because, you, Spencer Jill Hastings, are incredible, and anything but normal," Toby said, kissing her neck gently.

"I just want this to go away," Spencer said sadly, "I hate it."

"I know," he said, "But you have been doing so well. Think about it. Less than six months ago, this happened almost every week, it not more."

"What's the date?" she asked, suddenly thinking back to six months ago.

"It's the 23rd," he said, "It's officially been six months since we found you guys."

Spencer nodded, wondering if that had something to do with how awful the panic attack had been. She wasn't sure if there would ever be a point in her life where the 23rd of the month would go by without her feeling at least a little panicked and terrified. Same with the 29th, the day they had been abducted in the first place. Those dates had gotten a little easier to deal with since she went away to school but every month, on both of those dates, Spencer would spend at least a little time curled up in her bed, talking to Aria or Emily or Hanna who were doing the same thing as her. As Spencer tried to relax back against Toby, she heard her phone.

"It's Aria," she said, grabbing the phone, "I'm not surprised."

"Hey Spence," Aria said, voice quivering a little, "How are you?"

"About as good as you sound," Spencer said as Toby got up for a minute to order dinner, "I'm actually in a hotel with Toby right now."

"Spence, it's Wednesday," Aria said, sounding confused.

"I know," Spencer said, "But our fire alarm went off last night…"

"And you had flashbacks," Aria finished, understanding, "I've had that happen before."

"Yeah," Spencer said, "It was really bad. Toby drove down here. I think the attack lasted four hours. I'm exhausted now."

"I'm sure," Aria said.

"How are you doing?" Spencer asked.

"It's the 23rd," Aria said quietly.

"I know," Spencer said, in the same voice.

"Is it ever going to get easier?" Aria asked, sounding like she was on the brink of tears.

"I hope so," Spencer said moving as Toby got back into bed, "Are you doing ok?"

"I was this morning," Aria said, "I got ready and went to class. But then on my way to lunch, I saw someone in a black hoodie and I ran back to my room and had a little bit of a breakdown. I haven't left my bed since."

"Have you talked to anyone else?" Spencer asked, knowing six months was a big deal for all of them.

"I talked to Emily," Aria said, "She's alright. She was with Paige today which was helping a lot. Have you talked to Hanna?"

"No," Spencer said, "I just woke up before you called. The alarm was at two in the morning so I didn't fall asleep until six and panic attacks always make me exhausted."

"We are a mess," Aria said with a sad laugh.

"Always have been," spencer said cynically, "One day, maybe we'll be able to get back the 23rd without feeling like the world is closing in around us."

"I hope," Aria said, "I feel bad for my roommate. I keep telling her I'm sick when this happens."

"I did the same thing," Spencer said, "Until she witnessed the panic last night over the stupid fire alarm. I'm going to have to explain some of this to her now."

"Good luck," Aria said, knowing how hard it was to talk about with people, "I'm gonna let you go. My mom wants me to call her."

"Alright," Spencer said, "Call again if you need anything."

"Thanks," Aria said, "Good luck telling your roommate."

"Thanks," Spencer said, hanging up the phone.

"Is she alright?" Toby asked, rubbing Spencer's back.

"She saw someone in a black hoodie," Spencer said, shaking her head.

Toby absolutely hated what had happened to these girls. They had had their entire high school years taken from them and replaced with memories that only created PTSD and fear.

He was so proud of all of them for how far they had come, somehow managing to continue on even when life seemed against them. However, he hated that ordinary things like fire alarms, black hoodies, and sometimes even just exhaustion or someone screaming would cause deep panic and wipe them out.

He and Caleb talked about it a lot when they hung out, knowing the other one knew exactly how they felt. Toby held Spencer tightly against his chest.

"I love you so much," he said, kissing her, "More than anyone in the world."

She smiled, kissing him back passionately.

Just then, they heard a knock on the door and Toby got up, going to answer it. He came back a minute later with a box of her favorite pizza.

"You ordered Lou's?" she said excitedly.

"Of course," he said, "I even got the tomato basil pesto kind you love so much."

"Thank you," she said, smiling at him as he opened the box.

They ate the pizza in the bed, Spencer still curled in his embrace.

"Do you have to leave tonight?" she asked, looking at him.

"No," he said, "I had today and part of tomorrow off. We can stay here again tonight then you can go back to classes tomorrow if you're ready."

She nodded, taking another bite of her dinner.

"Do you want to take a bath after this?" he asked, taking another bite of the pizza.

She nodded, smiling at him.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she asked with a sigh.

"I ask myself that every day," Toby said, smiling back at her.

She avoided his eyes, taking another bite of her pizza.

"Hey," he said, putting an hand on her face before pulling it to look at him, "You are important. You are more than I ever dreamed I would have in a girlfriend."

She just shrugged, still not really looking at him.

"Spencer," he said, "I know you feel damaged and broken, but you are so strong."

"I can't even handle a stupid fire alarm, Toby," she spat, "How is that strong?"

"Because you are still going," he said, putting down his pizza and wrapping his arms around her, "You are still functioning and thriving despite all the things that were thrown at you for the past two years. You are incredible. I don't know too many people who went through everything you did and still came out on the other side with fight left."

She was crying quietly, big tears rolling down her face. He just held her against him, trying to calm her down. He knew a lot of the problems she was having were related to her Parents. For some reason, they were never quite satisfied with her, always pushing her harder when her fight was wearing thin. Her self-confidence was so low some days that he worried about her mental health.

"You are enough," he whispered in her ear, running his hands up and down her back, "You are enough. You are strong."

He repeated this mantra over and over again, kissing her head over and over again. Eventually, her tears tapered off.

He pulled her away from his chest, wiping the tears off her face, "You alright?"

She nodded, kissing her gently.

"Can we take that bath now?" she asked after a minute.

"Sure," he said, "I'll go start it."

She nodded as he got up. Toby ran a hot bath, helping Spencer to the bathroom and climbing in behind her. He gently rubbed her back, feeling her relax back into his body.

"I love you," he said, kissing her neck multiple times as she smiled.

They took a nice long bath, Spencer loving the kisses he peppered along her neck and back. Once they were done in the bath, Toby helped her get dressed before they climbed back into bed. Spencer leaned on his chest and fell asleep after a few minutes of his whispering gently to her.

She woke up screaming about two hours later from a nightmare. He held her tightly, knowing it took a while to calm her down.

Once Spencer realized where she was, she grabbed on to Toby as tightly a she could. He moved to hold her in a different way, reassuring her she was there for her.

Eventually, she fell asleep, still holding him tightly. The next morning, they woke up tangled in each other's arms.

"What time is it?" she asked, looking at the clock.

"It's almost seven," he said, kissing her cheek.

"I have class at ten," she said, "And I need to go back to my room before I go."

"Alright," he said, "Well, let's get some food in you before you crash on me from low blood sugar."

She nodded, leaning back against the pillows as he grabbed the phone. He ordered room service for them before bringing Spencer to him.

"You gonna be alright?" he asked, kissing the top of her head. She nodded against him, letting her body soak him up.

They ate breakfast, Toby occasionally feeding Spencer bites of fruit. They got dressed before leaving for Georgetown.

Ava was already gone, which Spencer was thankful for.

"I love you," Toby said, kissing her as they got ready to go their separate ways.

"I love you too," she said, leaning into his chest, "Thank you for coming."

"Anytime," he said, rubbing her back, "Call me if you need anything."

"Can you call me later tonight when you get off work?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Of course," he said, hugging her one more time before pulling her away from his chest, "I love you."

"Love you too," she said, kissing him one more time before they went their separate ways, knowing that no matter what happens, they had each other.

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 **So there it was. What did you think? Do you want more like this? I have a few more ideas in the works right now so if you want more, I will keep working on those. Anyway, hope you liked it. Suggestions for future stories are also always welcome.**


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